Miriam Winokur celebrating her 99th birthday on July 13, 2023.
Social media has been my lifeline for many years, allowing me to stay connected with friends and family, even when we’re far apart. However, this week has been especially difficult as I check my feeds. I see posts about the upcoming ISTE conference and the Highlights Foundation writing retreat I was unable to attend; I can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness for the experiences I’m missing out on and the people I’m unable to meet up with.
On April 9th, my plans for the summer took an unexpected detour when my sister called to inform me that my mother was admitted to the hospital and was in serious condition. I immediately knew I had to change my summer plans to support my sister’s efforts as a caregiver during this critical time. Over the past two months, I’ve been by my mother’s side, cherishing every moment we had together. It was challenging and exhausting, but I was glad I could do it. Unfortunately, she passed away a few weeks ago, leaving behind a legacy of love and a wealth of stories from her almost 100 years of life.
As the family historian, it is my responsibility to guide my siblings and fulfill her dying wish: to complete the memoir she was writing. This undertaking will be my primary focus in the coming year as I honor my mother’s life and preserve our family’s history for future generations. My mother was an inspiration to many. She accomplished so much in her lifetime, exemplifying the term “lifelong learner,” and leaves a legacy of love and persistence. My siblings and I promised her we would complete the memoir, and we intend to keep that promise.
I’m doing my best to practice self-care by taking breaks and spending time with friends and family nearby. I’m also blessed to have a community surrounding me with love and checking to see if I need anything. My sense of belonging has soared during this time. I remind myself that although my anchor, my mom, is gone, many people care about me. When I depart from Buffalo this time, my mother’s door will be forever closed, but other doors will open for me.
This life experience, filled with transitions, reminds us that life is unpredictable, and sometimes, we have to be flexible and prioritize the needs of our loved ones over our plans. Despite the challenges and sacrifices, I find solace in knowing that I spent precious time with my mother and have no regrets. Most importantly, I will carry out her final wish.