Most of my posts so far have been about my transition to life in Kuwait since October 1984, and I haven’t mentioned much about my life from March 29, 1956 until 1984. I believe it’s important at this point in my blog posting to tell you about my 64th birthday celebration to give a perspective about why I feel at home in Buffalo, NY where I grew up, and, as I have been writing about in previous posts, I also feel I belong in Kuwait.

I return to Buffalo several times each year and stay at least a few weeks each visit. Although my parents sold my childhood home in 1978 when my they decided to move to south of the city and also coincided with me leaving home for grad school. It doesn’t matter that the physical space is different because I still feel at home wherever my mother is, wherever my family is. I feel I belong here because it’s familiar; I feel accepted and appreciated.

Yesterday was my 64th birthday. I usually don’t make much of a fuss over it since, 1. I’m reaching an age where every day is a blessing and 2. Most of my family is scattered all over the world, so there’s nobody in Kuwait to celebrate with me except my husband and a close friend. But this year, due to Covid-19, I am still in Buffalo, NY with my mother. A short visit that has turned into a much longer one. So you may be wondering if/how I celebrated and that’s what today’s post is about.

The answer to ‘if” I celebrated is yes; no cake but lots of virtual birthday wishes. The answer to “how” I celebrated is the focus of this post. Last week, while Skyping with my brother, a retired rabbi in Atlanta, he mentioned the idea of the family (his family, my sister (Buffalo), my daughter and son-in-law (Boston, MA), my oldest son and his husband (Chiang Mai, Thailand), my younger son and daughter-in-law (Pittsburgh) could meet virtually to wish me a happy birthday. I loved the idea and immediately messaged my children about it. They set a time and sent a calendar invite to everyone.

At the appointed time, my mother and I signed into Zoom along with all of my close family members (minus my husband in Kuwait because it was the middle of the night there). I cannot tell you how wonderful the whole experience was for me since family is one of the most important things in my life. And, upon reflection, it was an amazing experience for our whole family because it would not have been possible years ago, not only because of a lack of connectivity. Each member of my family is very different and has led a different life path. This has led to conflict over the years and periods of misunderstanding, but we each worked hard to ensure that our relationships remain the focus and not the differences in our lifestyles, personalities, or problems communicating. Last night we all came together on Zoom and had 90 minutes of catching up, laughter, checking in, and memories. They all sang “Happy Birthday” to me and celebrated milestones like my younger son’s recent marriage (also virtually).

As I reflected today on this most memorable birthday, I realized what a milestone it was in our family’s history. A momentous occasion, not because it celebrated me, but because it celebrated all of us and how much we mean to each other. It underscored the work we have all put into making sure our relationships are filled with love, honesty, communication, and most importantly, respect. Why is respect so important? It shows that we accept that each one of us is different, but we put our love and caring for each other above those differences. We accept each other because we care. I hope that now you can understand why I feel at home in Buffalo. I am blessed to feel like I belong in both of my “homes” which are thousands of miles apart.

In case you are wondering what gifts I received, here’s a photo of my mother’s gift. It is perfect for this post and for representing my feeling of belonging in Buffalo AND Kuwait.

Note:
I know how stressed everyone is feeling right now due to the global crisis we are all facing and being “stuck” at home for an uncertain amount of time. We must use this time to focus on improving your relationships with those we live with and those who are dear to us, even if they live far away. On Twitter, I sent out my birthday wish which was for each person to reach out to someone they hadn’t contacted in a while. I received so many replies from my PLN thanking me. No, I thank each of you for fulfilling my wishes, and I am sending a virtual hug to each of you.