Celebrations of special holidays and religious observances have been a hot topic this week. Passover and Easter were celebrated in a variety of ways including live stream religious services, parishioners sitting in their cars in their church parking lot, and virtual family meals on Skype or Zoom. Many of those who were asked or interviewed about how this year’s holidays were different mentioned how much they missed their traditional celebrations, but tried to make the best of the situation. Even Easter egg hunts were different this year.

Next week is the start of the holy month of Ramadan for Muslims. It is a month of fasting and traditionally includes family visits and breaking the fast with additional guests at the table. This year will also be different for how Ramadan will be observed. Families usually have futour (breaking the fast) together. Many times the extended family members also attend. Another tradition is sharing of food where neighbors and family members make extra food and share it with others. Under the current circumstances, I don’t think this will be followed as much as usual. Another tradition is attending prayers at the mosque. The mosques are currently all closed.

The Islamic calendar follows the lunar months which means holidays and observances are on different dates each year. Fasting during the summer months is really difficult because there is no food or drink from sunrise to sunset. However, we manage. I have fasted during Ramadan since 1985, and I will fast again this year. This year, according to the lunar calendar, Ramadan will probably begin on April 24th. I think this will be the most difficult Ramadan for Muslims around the world due to physical distancing and fears of spreading the virus to our family members and friends. It is especially difficult for me this year because I am thousands of miles from Kuwait. I was hoping that life would be back to “normal” and airports would miraculously reopen by mid-April. But that isn’t going to happen. So I have a dilemma right now, made even more difficult because I can put my name on a list with the Kuwaiti government to be repatriated to Kuwait. I miss my adopted home in Kuwait and my husband who has been on his own for more than a month. Both my mother and my husband have told me that the decision is mine to make.

Do I return to Kuwait on flights provided by the government, or take a chance and wait for flights to Kuwait to resume. I still haven’t had a chance to visit my daughter and son-in-law in Boston and only had two days with my son and daughter-in-law in Pittsburgh. My decision is made a bit easier because I am staying with my mother in my hometown and although we don’t leave the house, it still feels like home. So now that I have a choice, I am torn between each of my “homes”. Even though I’d like to break the fast with my husband in Kuwait, but once I return I will either be in quarantine or isolating myself at home away from my husband who is almost 70 years old. So the only difference is that he and I will be in the same time zone and house, but we will still be sitting at separate tables on different levels of our house. If I fast Ramadan at my mother’s house, I will be eating alone also. At age 95, she has to eat dinner by 6:30. I will be breaking my fast after 7:15 p.m.

This is today’s reality for so many people around the world like those who are used to visiting their elderly family members in nursing homes but now have to talk to them through a window. Or those who have birthday celebrations virtually or have cars passing by their house as they watch from the driveway. Essential workers who are worried they might bring the virus home with them, so they have separated themselves from loved ones. Parents who are now trying to work from home and juggle their own parental responsibilities to support their children’s education. My decision seems rather benign as compared to all that we read and hear about every day since this crisis entered our lives.

Since I started blogging, I’ve been writing about how I have a sense of belonging in two different places in the world and that it’s been quite a journey for me to feel that way. I hope it makes this decision a bit easier to make, but right now, just like everyone else, I’m thinking about all that I’m missing no matter where I decide to be.